She Sends $500 To Her Family Every Month—But They're Behind On Bills. Is She Wrong?

Whether you're on a flight or managing your finances, it's usually recommended that you put on your oxygen mask before helping someone else with theirs. You have to help yourself and put yourself in a good financial position before you can help others, but not everyone follows this advice.

A husband recently posted on Reddit that his wife wants to send $500 to her Thai family each month. Those regular money transfers come as the couple continues to fall behind on bills. 

"Honestly, we’ve been short every month for at least six months, and we’ve been making up the shortfall by cashing things out, like a credit card rewards savings account from our credit union and a small investment/stocks account my wife had. But we’ve cashed all that out now, and there is nothing left to cash out," the husband explained.

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The couple is $300 to $400 short on their bills each month, so stopping those $500 monthly payments can help the couple avoid falling deeper into debt. Redditors debated in the comments whether the wife should be sending $500 to her family each month.

Have The Wife Pay For It

One Redditor suggested that the wife pick up a part-time job or a side hustle that allows her to bring in an additional $500 per month. Those extra earnings will make it more feasible for the couple to make monthly payments to her parents. 

She may not even have to earn an extra $500 per month. Earning enough to cover the current $300 to $400 gap can be a good starting point. Even if the couple stops paying $500 per month to the parents, they're still operating on a narrow margin.

While it can be productive to have this conversation, the husband should make sure he is also looking for ways to increase his earnings. That way, the couple can put themselves in a better financial position to cover the $500 monthly payments and get out of debt.

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Cut Down Your Lifestyle

Multiple Redditors suggested that the couple cut down their lifestyles to reduce their monthly expenses. Downsizing, getting rid of monthly subscriptions, and creating a budget are some of the ways that the couple can lower their costs.

The husband added more context to his original post and mentioned that his wife wants to upgrade their lifestyle. This goal isn't feasible at the moment, given that the couple is falling behind on their bills. She also wants to eat healthy, high-quality food. 

You can cut costs, but income growth seems more important in this case. The wife wants a high-paying remote job but only has working experience in restaurants and retail. You can still get a remote job with that experience, but it may not be a high-paying one. She will have to gain experience and build her career before she can land a remote job that pays well.

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Establish The Root Cause And Reach An Agreement

This entire conversation may sound ridiculous to an American family. The parents are expected to support themselves in retirement and not ask their children for any money. That way, the adult child doesn't have the additional financial burden of giving money to their parents.

Asian communities are raised differently. It's expected that the child will take care of the parents financially after becoming an adult. The wife may feel like she is falling short of this obligation if she isn't sending $500 per month.

A non-American left a comment on Reddit and raised a bunch of questions that can help the couple find a middle ground with those $500 monthly money transfers.

"Do the parents need the money to survive? Can you go with a minimum amount until you get back on your feet? Does she have other siblings who can contribute as well? (It doesn’t matter if she is the only one outside of Thailand; every sibling who is working needs to contribute as well)," the Redditor asked.

Bringing the monthly contribution down to $200 or $300 can make it more feasible for the couple to support themselves and the wife's parents. The husband should communicate with the wife and her parents about the current financial situation and what can be done to make the monthly contributions more feasible. 

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