Trading Ideas for Strauss-Kahn and the Rich-Man-Justice Release Program

It looks like Dominique Strauss-Kahn is going to be free soon (no really, read here), ready to (depending on who you believe) prowl the streets for more maids to diddle or get the hell away from gold-digging, lying, crazy women.

While I have no insight in to whether or not he raped that maid, or if it was Colonel Mustard in the Conservatory with a candlestick, I can say that Strauss-Kahn probably won't be staying at that hotel ever again. And who knows, maybe he will spend his free time teaming up with OJ Simpson to find the real rapist.

Then again, not content to let a bad event ruin his life, perhaps Strauss-Kahn will try to turn lemons in to lemonade, and figure out a way to make money off this little...mishap. Might there be stocks that benefit from Strauss-Kahn trying to prevent himself from ever starring in "Maid in America II"? Let's investigate.

Surveillance Equipment Do you think Dominique Strauss-Kahn will ever venture out anywhere without some kind of 24-hour surveillance keeping an eye on things? He'll probably have a nanny-cam installed in his glasses. Where can you get such things? Best Buy (NYSE: BBY) is a good place to look for basic surveillance equipment, particularly around the home and for your booty-call/rapist travel kit. If he wants to make a nice high-tech version, perhaps he'll talk to the geniuses at Apple (NASDAQ: AAPL) or even Pixar, currently owned by Disney (NYSE: DIS) to put together something cool for him.

Bank Stocks The former IMF chief clearly has a few friends in high places, and allegedly, some of them are rumored to have paid off the young maid to make the rape claim go away. Might the entire banking sector benefit from having Strauss-Kahn out of jail and able to, potentially, repay them with political favors? Look at bigger banks, like JP Morgan (NYSE: JPM) and CitiGroup (NYSE: C), along with international beauty (and ironically tickered) Banco Santander (NYSE: STD).

Ladies, Umm, "Pajamas" If you're an international banker so desperate for sex that you allegedly turn to a random hotel maid, perhaps you need a little help with your flirting and dating game. Start with some nice lingerie from Victoria's Secret and some Bath and Body Works scents, both under the Limited Brands (NYSE: LTD) label.

High-End Jewelry Dominique Strauss-Kahn is going to owe his wife one hell of a jewelry purchase. When Kobe Bryant got out of his rape case, he bought his wife a giant $4 million ring. But that was pre-Gingrich and the Blingrich Blingfest at Tiffany's (NYSE: TIF). Compared to the legend of DSK, Gingrich is an amateur. If Gingrich can drop $1 million at Tiffany's and Kobe can drop $4 million, what will Mrs DSK get? Could she top $100 million?